


Milk and Toast and Honey

by genee



Category: Popslash
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-08-14
Updated: 2005-08-14
Packaged: 2017-10-12 03:21:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/120223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/genee/pseuds/genee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>Nick remembers waking up one afternoon, pale sun streaming through the hotel windows and a tiny black cat curled up on Kevin's lap, purring.</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	Milk and Toast and Honey

Nick remembers the first time, back before they hit big, back before AJ started drinking and Brian got sick and everything went to shit and back again, he remembers waking up one afternoon, pale sun streaming through the hotel windows and a tiny black cat curled up on Kevin's lap, purring. Nick remembers Kevin's long fingers scratching softly under the cat's chin, remembers Kevin almost purring, too, his voice so soft, coaxing. _It's okay, babe,_ he'd said, _I got you_ , and Nick knew right then, because Kevin only used that voice with them and he could see Howie by the windows, phone pressed to his ear and Brian was still asleep behind him, one hand splayed on Nick's hip, soft breath on the back of his neck.

"AJ," Nick whispered, and Kevin looked up, green eyes narrowed so sharp Nick almost felt like a stranger. Almost, but the cat jumped down from Kevin's lap and stretched, blinking at Nick and meowing loudly. "AJ," Nick said again, smiling, reaching down to lift him up. Nick remembers how soft he was, how small, how his tongue rasped against Nick's wrist, warm and tickly on his skin. "Cool."

"Nicky," Kevin said. "This is serious."

And it was, but it was still cool. "Yeah," he said, softly though, because AJ had drawn himself up to look in Nick's eyes, so close he was blurry, just dark fur and long whiskers and Nick thought AJ smelled a little like warm honey, sweet and milky, and he couldn't help sniffing a little, just like AJ was sniffing him.

"You can't tell anybody," Kevin said, and Nick didn't need Kevin to tell him exactly how huge a secret this was, but Kevin did anyway. Nick remembers nodding a lot, listening more to the sound of Kevin's voice than the words, Howie in the background and Brian snoring softly, and he remembers the way AJ rubbed against him, paws kneading at his belly, purring himself to sleep.

Nick remembers sleeping a lot back then, whenever he could, remembers feeling special when he'd fall asleep wrapped around a boy and wake up with his fingers buried in soft, soft fur. That's when they'd have the most fun together, playing with cat toys and shoe laces and sneaking up on the other guys. Nick liked to tickle, but AJ was an ankle stalker, through and through. Nick was too young to really take care of him then, he remembers being too young for _everything_ , at least as far as Kevin was concerned, and by the time he was old enough they were always working, always being photographed and interviewed and AJ had started drinking more and turning into a cat less and Nick didn't need Kevin to explain that to him, either.

He could see that clearly all by himself.

They had separate buses and separate lives and Nick doesn't like remembering those times now, doesn't like to think about Kevin's voice when he'd finally had enough, AJ barricaded behind a broken door and Kevin's heart in his throat, saying _It's over, babe. All of this. Over._ Nick remembers wishing they could go back in time, back to that old hotel room, Kevin whispering as he stroked AJ's fur, promising him it would be okay.

Nick doesn't think about it anymore, he doesn't think about anything but how good it is to be back with his fellas, singing together, touring again. It was worth it, the break they took, everything they went through to make _Never Gone_ , to make sure they took the time enjoy it now.

Nick remembers what it was like to sleep alone, and he knows he could do it again if he had to but he's gotten used to sleeping with AJ now, lean muscles and inked skin and he doesn't ever want to go back. Not like that.

Somewhere west of Chicago Nick wakes up and AJ isn't singing in the shower, isn't in the kitchen making toast and coffee, isn't kneeling beside the bed, his voice raspy, his head dipped in prayer. Nick tries not to panic, and when he opens his eyes he sees AJ as he hasn't seen him in years, one paw over his eyes, his little belly rising with every breath. Nick reaches for him, murmuring softly, burying his fingers in the dark fur he wasn't sure he'd ever feel again. AJ yawns, pink tongue and sharp teeth and Nick pulls him closer, breathes him in.

"God, AJ," Nick whispers, smiling against fur that still smells like sunshine, warm and honeysweet, and Nick wonders if AJ knew this was coming, if it means as much as Nick thinks it does. AJ meows and blinks at him, extends his claws and picks at Nick's Tommyland t-shirt, kneading his chest beneath. "So fucking cool," Nick says, laughing, happy for a second chance at this, too.  
   
   


\-- End -- 


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